I have fallen woefully behind in blogging and have much to update in regard to my sister's wedding, our trip to New Orleans and more. But now, I need to write about my grandmother. Elizabeth W. Smith, known as "Miss Elizabeth" to her many admirers and "Tit-Tee" to her grandchildren. If I am correct, the unusual name comes from a sibling's difficulty saying "Elizabeth" and the name stuck! My middle name, McChesney, is her mother's maiden name and I am proud to carry that heritage and to have also passed it on to Carlisle. The McChesney family was originally from the Bowling Green area of Kentucky and Kendal and I were so fortunate to spend three years near Bowling Green and fell in love with the city and the history it holds for our family. My parents brought Tit-Tee up to see us in Kentucky twice and both times we explored familiar sites - she gave us a tour of the downtown as she remembered it in the 1930's and 40's and even showed us her cousins' old home where she would spent summers as a teen. Her daddy was a Southern Baptist preacher and she held her faith close throughout her life, but we did enjoy pina coladas together in Kentucky during her visit with us and watching her savor every sip is one of my favorite memories of her!
Tit-Tee was the epitome of a true Southern lady in every respect. She never raised her voice and was kind to everyone she met. She loved to listen to others tell their stories. She was a yellow-dog Democra
t through and through and Bill Clinton's most ardent fan. In the fall of 2006, I had the fortune of touring the Clinton Library with Tit-Tee, my parents and Kendal (and the night before, she was one of the first to learn we were expecting!). I love this picture taken with her at the library, what a great day! For her 90th birthday, I missed the huge family party as I was about to pop with twins but was able to suprise her with a special book: "My Life," President Clinton's memoirs, that he signed "To Elizabeth Smith on her 90th birthday."
She lived on black coffee sipped out of fine china cups and at least 10 straight hours of C-SPAN and NPR each day. She knew exactly where she stood on any issue and loved to talk about her beliefs but was polite enough to listen intently and with great interest to what others had to say and not utter a word of judgment. I don't think I ever saw her consume more than a salad during a meal - a dainty eater, which is how she kept her girlish figure :) She devoured books, particularly those with a religious or political bent (so long as the political leaning was to the left). She was a gifted artist and musician. She wrapped holiday gifts with more beauty than I've ever seen and never missed sending her grandchildren a note for the holidays (birthdays, Easter, Valentine's, you name it). She raised five children on a Mississippi Delta cotton farm. She later dealt with the crushing loss of her youngest son, John, and bore even that consuming grief with dignity and grace.
I've always thought it quirky that my parents were destined to be together through the draw of family bonds. Tit-Tee once courted one of Mama Diket's (my mom's mother and one of the great loves of my life) brothers and, I think, was nearly "betrothed" to him if I have my history correct. While that relationship clearly did not come to pass, my mom later grew up across the street from Tit-Tee's sister, Rachel, and saw my dad on several occasions during her childhood and teen years. In fact, he began dating my mom after seeing her in photos from his own cousin's wedding and calling her on a whim for a date. The rest is history! I do love this picture taken on my parents' wedding day and all the connections that our families share.
Tit-Tee was always dressed to the nines in stylish tops, Ferragamo flats, ten gold bangles on each wrist, hair perfectly coiffed and scarf tied just so. You could hear her jingle every time she moved! She also had a gold bracelet with a charm for each grandchild that she never removed from her wrist. I love the picture of my mom, Jackson and I with Tit-Tee - she is holding a well-read Vogue magazine and wearing her Clinton "Hope" silk scarf during a country pumpkin patch festival. She always stood out!
Tit-Tee truly adored Kendal. They connected from the first time they met and shared many wonderful times together. She had the opportunity to worship with us at our churches in Atlanta, Kentucky and Arkansas and sang every hymn with as much reverence as could be mustered.
I am so thankful that Tit-Tee got to meet the twins on to occasions. She came to their baptism in 2007, which was such a blessing. The twins were just four months old and she loved holding them, rocking them and having in-depth conversations with them. A few months later, when she began suffering severe health problems, I took the twins to see her in New Albany, a quaint Mississippi where she lived for nearly thirty years and was truly a town favorite. During her years in New Albany, she volunteered at the hospital, was active in the arts and library councils, frequented the downtown shops and made many friends. That trip will always be special to me because it was the last time I was able to spend time with her face-to-face.
Tit-Tee moved to Atlanta to be near her daughter in 2008. Kendal and I were never able to make the trip to Atlanta to see her, which will always be a painful regret. We did talk to her on the phone a few times but it's not quite the same. She had planned to attend Anna's wedding but was too weak to travel when the date arrived. You always think you have all the time in the world, but sometimes that's just not the case...
Tit-Tee passed away on Monday afternoon. Evie and I left early Monday morning to be with her - she had had an unexpected heart attack and I knew she was fading but so hoped to introduce her to her newest great-grandchild. I missed her by one hour, but Evie and I did have the opportunity to say good-bye and I'll always be thankful she was in her presence even if her spirit was already with the Lord. I was able to spend some wonderful time with my parents, my aunt and uncles and cousins as we sat around the table and told stories and laughed until we nearly cried. Then we did cry, but the tears were healing ones and ones that brought a sense of peace.
"Utmost Fortitude" is how I'll remember Tit-Tee. Those words were carved into the doorway of her childhood home and the phrase was uttered during a toast given Monday evening in Tit-Tee's honor. She was a woman of such quiet and dignified strength and carried herself with a mighty faith in the face of any adversity. A woman of faith and strength, my Tit-Tee.
The grandchildren with Tit-Tee in 1999.
Clockwise: Bradley Smith, David Darden, Morgan Darden,
Tit-Tee, Claire Smith, Anna Smith, Lauren Smith (me)
Morgan's wedding in December 2003 with the Smith family -
before the great-grandchildren began to arrive!
We just spent an absolutely fabulous week in Wimberely, Texas, with Kendal's family on the annual Land Clan Road Trip Vol. 8 (I just named it such while typing this blog). The Texas Hill Country - seriously, is there anywhere more beautiful?! I took a million photos - and with a new lens to boot - and don't have the energy to post them all tonight. So, I thought I would post some pics of the twin mania we experienced last week!
